Life Is Boring

Date: Feb 09, 2023
Author: Adeepa Gunathilake

This is a lose attempt to encode the state of my present life into words.

I tried to be a more extroverted person in the last few months last year. I was successful. Met lot of new people. Now I’m going back to my normal introverted mode. However, I’m going back to my normal introverted mode more faster than I expected. Velocity is much higher than I predicted.

I don’t know if it’s a good thing. I don’t care. The incidents happening around me are not interesting to pay any care.

About personal relationships…

I now have 19 close friends, 12 from my university and 7 old friend. Also have about 20 to 25 not so close friends and other 200+ people I just know (works other way around too).

So now I have about 44 friends.

However, the relationship with my two cousine brothers is getting weaker and weaker every year. Those two are the first ever friends I met in my life. When I was younger, I enjoyed a lot of time with them. Those days, just meeting them would make me so much happy, but I’m feeling this relationship is getting more and more weaker now.

About stuff happening…

I don’t know what other people do in their free time, they might be consuming tiktok, instagram etc. or might be gaming or might be chilling out with frineds idk. When I have free time I do something related to computers. I used to do this for a long time and now it’s a habbit I can’t change.

I might be learning some new piece of obsecure garbage other people would never think of, for example about SYN flood DDOS attacks etc. Or else, I might build a problem my self and try to write a software to solve it.

I however, do not play computer games. For some reason I find many computer games boring. Last time I enjoyed a computer game was when I played Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3. I no longer have enough computing power to play a game like that.

However, I now find those stuff I used to do tiresome. Let’s call it “computer fatigue.” I’m getting exposed to high amount of information about computer science now than before but I’m tired to explore them now.

So there’s this problem where I got tired of what I did in my free time for years and therefore find some kind of purposelessness when I’m free. I don’t know how to solve this problem.

Going to university sucks too. It’s true that I’m doing a degree related to my favorite academic area but the things I learn at the university are either stuff I already know or stuff I skipped researching about because I’m not interested in. Some facts university system forces us to learn are useless garbage with little to no real world uses.

So far, I enjoyed learning only one module they called as “computer system fundamentals” which is about how computers work.

So… I’m tired of computer stuff now, but because that’s the only thing I know and that’s the only field I have capacity to learn, I’m kind of forced to be in that field by some supernatural power. It sucks!

As you can see, my life very very uninteresting right now. When others consume tiktok, I consume man pages. I know these states of life are temporary and hope for something interesting and good to happen.

Now I’ve to go and learn some R programming or else I have to be in a state of confusion in the next maths lecture, but it’s already past midnight so I might just give up and sleep.

Whatever happens, it’s not interesting enough to pay attention.

Thanks for reading. Have a nice rest of the day!

Thanks for stopping by 💗